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So, Michael Vick smokes weed.. Really?! Surprise, Surprise MothafukkaZ!! lolz. [As if we didn't already know..] Now, anybody who'z anybody, knowz that you don't buy devicez with "secret compartmentz" to hide no damn jewelry! Niggaz buy jewelry to wear, and smuggle weed to smoke.. Duh! lolz.. In January, Saturday Night Live performed a sketch in response to the Vick water bottle scandal at the Miami Airport. I actually wrote an entry about it, and posted a video clip of the sketch.. At the time, I honestly believed that the media was just looking for a reason to condemn Michael Vick.. [Oh, don't get it twisted.. My opinion still hasn't changed..] Especially, after authoritiez in Miami decided that the contentz of the bottle were not worth pursuing in court. Well, knowing what I know now about Michael Vick and his questionable decision making, it reely wouldn't surprise me if photoz of Vick and Oscar De La Hoya suddenly rose to the surface.. lolz! If you missed my initial SNL entry, I've attached another copy of the video clip for your enjoyment.. [Really?!] :)


Michael Vick sketch:



Apparently, marijuana stayz in your system for over 3 monthz [depending on the amount of an individual'z daily intake], so it iz possible that Vick "elevated his game" well before these allegationz arose.. BUT!! If my world was crumblin' down around me lyke it has been recently on Michael Vick, then brother.. I ain't mad at'cha! Honestly, I don't know what the hell you were waitin' on?! If anything, I'm just mad that'z all they found! Please.. If it were me, I prolly woulda' tested positive for all kinda' shyt! Marijuana, PCP, Pain Killerz.. Moonshine, Heroin, Opium.. Coke, Pepsi, Diet Coke, Fanta.. Every damn thang!! lolz.. If I were him, I woulda' prolly OD'd on my herpes medicine, YouTube'd myself flickin' off Arthur Blank, and just said "Fukk it!" and electrocute the shyt outta my house dog for not performin' well in the Purina Dog Show.. [But, that'z just me.. lolz!]


Nah, but in all seriousness.. I reely feel bad for the dude.. To see all that talent and promise, go to waste in a matter of monthz... Not years, but monthz!! [Over somethin' that easily should have been avoided..] If there'z one thing I know, my family and friendz would never allow something lyke this to happen to me.. That'z why it iz so important to surround yourself around positive people.. If there isn't one person around you that knowz right from wrong, especially when you are one of the most world reknown people in all of sports.. Then, maybe you're not the one who'z hanging around the wrong people.. Maybe you are, the "wrong people"... [Hmmm..?]



I told him that water bottle shyt wouldn't work.. That Miami sticky ain't no joke, huh Mike?! [No worries.. You can alwayz come play in Canada with me!!!]


I mean, I'm a Vick fan.. and I will alwayz be a Vick fan.. [He may never play in the NFL again, but they can't take my Xbox! -- "Madden.. NFL.. 2007.. It's in the game.." lolz!] But, dude.. You're Michael Vick! At least try and mask your pee! Drink bleach.. Castor oil.. Penzoil.. Something!? Nigga, I know RastafarianZ that pass drug tests as soon as they get off Air Jamaica! You mean to tell me, you were fully aware that you had an Osama in New York chance of passing a drug test, but you took it anyway..? Yeah.. I thynk my vote has been swayed.. O.J., you will always be "The Juice".. But, due to a Florida miscount, this year'z 2007 D.N.O.Y. Award goes to Michael "Say It Ain't So" Vick!!! [insert applause] Congratulationz Mike!! Hey, if you're not out before my first-born son iz born, I promise I'll fynd a way to convince my wife [or mistress] to name him after you.. Maybe Pit.. or Bull.. I lyke Bull! It'z lyke Bill, without the "i".. Hmmm, I'm not sure yet.. We'll see.. I know one thing, I'm sure as hell not namin' him Michael! Oh hell no.. lolz! [Why not..?] Why not?! Are you serious?! All the Mike's I grew up idolizing, ended up fukkin' their lyfe up some kinda' way..



Mike Tyson - Wife-beater, Ear Biter, Crack head..
[The man tattoo'd hiz face, for God'z sake!]



Michael Jackson - Weirdo, Molestor, Bell Pepper Nosed Tree Climber.. ["Don't you climb trees..?"] lolz! (See below.)



Michael Irvin - Who has of recent, cleaned up his life tremendously.. Hall-of-Famer.. All-around good guy.. But!! Former crackhead..
[Ain't that a happy ass mugshot..? lolz!]



Michael "Air" Jordan - Ok, well maybe not M.J.. He didn't reely do anything wrong, I just didn't lyke the whole "Retired", "Not Retired", Bulls/Wizards thing.. Either you're gonna play, or you're not.. This iz why I stopped buying jerseyz.. 23, 45, 23.. Basketball, baseball, basketball.. Now, it'z golf with Tiger..? Blah! :)



But yeah.. I don't reely want that kinda' lyfe for my son.. Sorry, Mike.. [I thynk Bull iz alot harder anyway.. lolz!] Anyway, tune in next tyme, when I write about the Michael Vick suicide.. Unless, he somehow managez to fukk that up too! :)


And that'z reel..
[rcZ]


Katt Williams vs. Michael Jackson:

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